Post-Leap

It’s almost Leap Year, or Leap Day, this February of the year 2008. I’ve had so many streams of thought in the last few days that this leap-year seems a natural diversion. I’ve thought about health, about my own stability of thinking, what this means (as I have glimpsed the lunar eclipse, watched the depth of white clouds building, the blue clearing, felt the mighty wind blowing, and the sun of today after the chill of morning), and about the bonds that friendship, love create as we live. The “bottom line,” it seems, is to Know Ourself, and to be open to change, to love. I heard a friend relate, briefly, to her former life with her abusive husband, and how immediately, upon marriage, he began to make his presence known, to hit her, and how she felt about this reality. I listen to my parents, my siblings, I listen to all of life, and I smell the sweet scent of these yellow roses that I and my friends shared over dinner the other evening –

When we spoke of poetry, a friend emphasized the need to know our own voice, not in those words. Not to be swayed by the voices of others with languages not your own. I listened, and listened, too, to the story of how a friend followed the nuns’ request to ease a dying man’s way into “Heaven” by being sure he was baptized. You’re not Catholic, they said, so the family will not suspect. This is about the soul, not the body. Their intentions were pure, their compassion intact. I remembered work-times earlier in my life, when I was asked to be the “diplomat” to ease confrontation. Sometimes this was easy. Other times I got irritated when I felt someone else was "not doing their job," or that I was "having to do theirs."

Now I see what this pattern of thinking and feeling is: usually it meant I wasn't completely comfortable being completely responsible for myself as a thinking, feeling physical (energy) being. It was easier for me to point out what was wrong, than to think positively, with love, and communicate as that energy. I am coming to know the natural gradual blooming beauty of Knowing Ourself, the degree of bloom this shows, as we know the difference between the belligerence of rebellion and the fear complacency of conformity. This is what it means to know we are in constant bloom, the bloom of change and growth, when we can recognize and acknowledge this pattern of life and change.

A few sentences from our recent seminar handout fit in: “If we are not learning truth and constantly living our truth of growth and change, we are not yet learning knowledge that relates to ourselves, Nature, Earth, and the Universe. This means that we will continue to suppress our hidden memories and see ourselves in the perception of being ultimately controlled by life and by other people, which takes away our personal freedom.” (1, Eternal Lives seminar handout).

“Our design allows us to choose our focus of learning as we come back into each new physical life. Nothing about us is accidental or without meaning. “ (1)
Most of all we find negative hidden memories of our past lives being expressed in our attitude about ourselves and our physical lives today – (2) Become very conscious of our own internal “self-image” and how we project ourselves as energy beings. (3)