Thursday, November 08, 2012

Saturday, September 29, 2012

Meanwhile the Goldenrod

Recently I have begun to appreciate more deeply and more consciously how perfect it is that change is part of our design to grow as evolving consciousness. I know of several people who have died in the past few weeks, people who were close to friends of mine. As each person has shared their perception and feelings about the sudden changes in and of life, I have thought more about what I have learned in my life, so far, about change, about life and death, about the joy potential of living each moment.  As my parents lived their deaths, they helped me to learn about my own beliefs about life and about death (change), and about what commitment to life means. Each thought, word, and action is a symphony within itself that reverberates as our life imprint. (Sound empty, like so many “campaign” words?) Keep thinking. Do you really believe that?

Each dose of a drug my parents’ doctors prescribed, for example, came with its own provenance – it s own realm of creation, intention, purpose, and potential effects. As I researched and read labels to better understand the world of pharmacology, I became more aware of my own beliefs about “the unknown” and my own strength of mind to know that knowledge gained is power to be used through the freedom we each have to choose and to improve the quality of our life through our choices. I understand now, that this is the same pattern of change I began to learn, accept, and live in relationship to food, water, and all manner of ingesting and inhaling. Think, choose, do – as we gain knowledge, our behavior will change, IF we are growing. We will feel differently, happier, IF we are growing. We will begin to know our own strength, and the equal strength of others as human beings, to choose and to Do.

What will happen if “we” don’t take this, don’t do this, as recommended?
What could happen if we do?
How do I feel about these thoughts and potentials of reality?
“We have to follow the rules.” Who made the rules and why?
What are we being loyal to and why?
What motivates me to change?
Am I afraid or excited about change?
Do I know and trust my Soul and Spirit mind beyond my physical mind? 
How do I feel?

Since I’m fifty years old now (! – actually, we triplets have always multiplied our age by 3, so that makes me 150) and both of our parents have died, I have a different reference point than even a few years ago. The motivation to learn more, to share more, to trust more in the gift of the Spirit mind that we are given to help guide us as we are open to learning and growing (changing), is a deep, deep river of energy that is as calming as the ocean can be to the mind that loves to hear the wind, to see the sparkles of light dancing off of the waves, taste the salt of endless travel in experienced water that remembers power and the purity of light and movement.  Little glimmers of fear that I feel in moments of “what if”, I recognize now as eternal seeds of promise given to me as invitations to “let go” and trust, know love, enjoy the spontaneous energy of life itself, always creating. 

I just had notice from a County official about overdue property taxes. At first I was confused.  What? With that, a slight glimmer of fear of, oh no, I don’t have that! Then, the calming of – simply take the steps of thinking, communicating, resolving. The choosing and doing that life is made of.  As we learn and grow as a mind, with love as our guide, we begin to civilize ourselves. Most parents know this well! The step-by-step creating of day-by-day life is what makes a life, builds a legacy of energy that lives on. As I watch the news (which I do a lot), I am so conscious of the different energies we present as the world and which we choose to focus on. This morning, as part of the CNN Heroes updates, I heard a story about an Afghan woman who moved back to Afghanistan after living in the US for 38 years. She moved because, as she said, she wanted to show the world that all Muslims are not terrorists. She opened a school for Afghan girls.  $300 educates one Afghan girl for one year. That puts dollars into another perspective.

This is an example to me of one woman, and all of those she has magnetized (inspired) to support her cause of positive change for humankind, who has chosen to commit her efforts to change and growth by DOING. “Change is growth; therefore, if we are open to change we will always grow. Once we accept change, the only requirement for growth is the commitment that we must make to the doing.”  (Bridges of Consciousness, ix-x)  As I’m reading Kathy Oddenino’s second book, Bridges of Consciousness, I’m thinking of all of these things. I’m reading another phrase I read once – “the illusion of death does not change what is.” I am so grateful to have chosen to expose myself to the knowledge of who we are as consciousness – to challenge my mind to think beyond where I have thought before.

As we talked about death and change, a friend asked me how I know that death is not terrible (as I haven’t experienced it). My answer was that I have learned, so far, and through studying Spiritual Philosophy, that I create my own reality and through my physical experience I live each pattern of change and growth as a spiritual being – so what happens (as I create and experience life, change) as I live and change, day by day, through all interaction and relationships, teaches me that all change happens in the same ways. We get better at it at the most profound levels, if we can recognize the value of change for us. Loss is real as change happens, but what we gain through understanding of energy that we share and that we are encompasses loss the way a wonderful warm hug from a mother or friend or lover does in the moment we feel the love shared.
Meanwhile, the goldenrod we planted last week is urging its buds into bloom, and that makes me smile. Rain drips a bit after the hard rain (which was welcome), and the trees stand tall still as the seasons change, moment by moment. 

Sunday, August 12, 2012


One more habit of thinking,
Lingering urges 
Baked from early childhood
And carried from days before,
I’m letting go,
Letting fly like the golden lit lanterns
Floating with all good wishes aloft.
Use your happy voice, my loving Dad said then,
And I remember now and again.
My smiling Dad, my laughing Mother,
My little girl wishes of waving wands,
Conducting the music
Of my spheres,
Gently waving the goodbye
Into new dreams. 

Wednesday, August 08, 2012

Lapses in Synapses Revisited

The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe.  Lapses in synapses. The aliens saw a box of infinity where Trudy saw a box of Cream of Wheat. Listening to the amazing space reports from journalists today as they shared the Mars information from scientists who were more animated than I’ve ever seen them, I celebrated with them. I didn’t jump from my chair, or shout with arms outstretched, but I felt their true enthusiasm and I smiled with each report I heard. I watched the images over and over, as the NASA engineers explained the decades-long and billion-dollar project, how incredulous they were that all went flawlessly. If I do nothing else in my life, one said, this will have been enough. Wow, the reporter said, that’s saying a lot. I thought about his words, the way he stood, his vibrating, smiling whole body. He likened the whole project and projections to the moonwalk, those giant images broadcast around the world AND in Times Square. Worlds connecting.

I listened to the reports that one man and the company he worked with proceeded with the project to include the descending imager even after the funds for that piece were pulled due to NASA budget constraints.  They paid it themselves – it was THAT important.  The pride that emanated from these scientists was palpable – in the commitment, the knowledge, the expansion of knowledge, the dedication, the teamwork, the RESULTS, the infinite potential of learning and seeing more of what it means to be human, to have life.  THAT’S what I’m talking about!
All the smiles, the pride and the giddy enjoyment of parachutes, craters, dust, robots, newness, brought back to my mind Lily Tomlin and Jane Wagner’s play (1986 Tony Award) The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life In the Universe. I immediately pulled up clips and reviews via Google. With each one I read, I smiled more. I remembered more bits from the live show I saw eons ago at the Kennedy Center in D.C.  I laughed out loud as I read, and I remember howling with the crowd with tears running down my cheeks while listening in person.

How much we miss when we are afraid people will think we are crazy, Trudy said. That is a good thought to mull over. We will ultimately know the difference between the thoughts and actions that make us laugh as we share in our humanity and those that come from a dark fear of other beings of any kind, human, animal, beasts of the Southern or Northern Wild, “mud people,” ghosts, all manner of noisy things.

Never underestimate the power of the human mind to forget, Wagner and Tomlin wrote in one monologue. I add, never forget the power of the human mind to remember. To remember where we came from, beyond the corner of Walk/Don’t Walk, beyond the village of  our ancestors, beyond the small well-lit apartment, the suburban lawn and house with driveway and dogs, the farm where cows, pigs revel and the sun sets beautifully behind trees as if this is the only place on Earth.  Ours is a legacy to BE the intelligent life in the Universe, as we laugh at our ways, as we learn more, as we seek the knowledge to truly know why we have such lapses in synapses. When children tell stories, listen carefully. When older people repeat stories, listen carefully. We the people are called to Listen to the voices within us and celebrate, share the best of who we are. The energy of the interweaving of we are and the lives we share at all times of Earth, Nature, are singing to all who will listen. We are each responsible for aggressively eradicating ignorance as we open to the Ethical Values of knowledge which teach us at any age of life and time as we are open to learning to be love.

Tuesday, May 01, 2012


I googled “exotica” and was amazed to find so many references, definitions – from a musical genre (1950s-60s Americana, musical “Shangri-la”) to a strip club near Toronto. I got curious because I read a quote somewhere recently which said that we humans are less interested in exploring the “intangible” to understand more than we are in retreating into what we think we already know and reinforcing those boundaries (beliefs). I’ve been thinking about that concept, and that led me to thinking about habits – my habits, our human habits. Which led me to thinking about thinking, again, and how little we encourage thinking – as going beyond where we think we have been before.

Do we really resist thinking? What does that say about our learning? I know I have resisted thinking, and therefore learning (changing). I know because I have learned about my habits and my motivations to change my habits. I know because I respect the value of love in honoring our best selves and how we therefore nurture learning (change) as we grow and become better thinkers. I’ve devoted my life to “Knowing thyself,” and I know the rewards are infinite (keep on giving). I know because I feel the happiness inherent in the wind as it caresses my skin (such as right now, with the patio door open and the birds busy and chirping in all manner of degrees and volume). I know because as lunch (spaghetti) cooks on the stove, I’m smelling the changing essence of those chemicals (garlic, onions, meatballs, tomatoes) as the heat encourages them to intermingle and it makes me salivate and smile.

Thinking is not just an intellectual activity – as I used to think. Thinking is sharing the joy of loving life as I explore relationships of all levels – birds, smells, spring greens, laughing with friends, asking questions and getting answers, leading into different spirals of energy expression. What next? Then the “next” reveals itself. Resistance isn’t good or bad – it’s resistance. It has its place, its role in the world we’ve created. Resistance to tyranny, for instance – good? Yes! If we’re motivated for good and expanding the change for “greater good.” We can determine those levels for ourselves, as we must. Resistance is a description of an energy expression, an action (or inaction). As we choose to live “for love,” we’re honoring our spirit of creation and inviting more love to share as we honor the abundance in our world, beginning in our cells’ expression and appreciation of life (celebration). Happy May everyone!

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Acts of Energy Conversion

Christmas trees
Fish bones
Garment racks

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Fun means so much more when the Mind is Fed with the Truth of Love

Happy Valentine's Day!

“We can experience memory of past lives, future lives, and Earth in its evolution. We can see the levels of growth in ourself and others as clearly as we can see the steps of a stairway that we climb. Spirit energy is loving energy.  There is no fear, judgement, or blame to be heard or seen when we listen to our spirit self. In listening to our soul energy of past lives, we view the experience from our spirit energy, which is only once again loving and truthful energy that will clarify our soul lessons if we are open to listening.” (Love, Truth & Perception,245)

What does it mean to “grow and change”? I met Kathy Oddenino in 1990 or 1991, in Annapolis, Maryland, pestered by a friend until I agreed to go to a book class held at Kathy’s home. Kathy had written three books at that time. When I walked into her basement where the class was being held, a big group of people was already mingling and excited. Then, I usually preferred to stay quiet in a group until or unless I felt a security of “being free.”  (What does “being free, safe, protected” mean?) When I met Kathy minutes later, she reached her hand towards me and smiled with her mouth, her twinkling piercing eyes, and everything about her energy presence. I remember the moment vividly. I had never experienced that particular sensation before, though I didn’t have any words or much understanding of what such feelings meant. I began to read Kathy’s books, and when she asked me to work with her as she continued producing more books, I was surprised, grateful, and eager. Working with Kathy’s books was a perfect invitation for me to learn to free myself from old iron-clad beliefs and perceptions about myself and about life.

Love, Truth & Perception was the first book we worked on, and I have continued to read it over the years. I read it again over the last few months. Twenty years later, this brings me back to what does it mean to grow and change? What does it mean to teach growth and change? Watching the news last night and this morning about the beautiful and talented Whitney Houston, I think of this. As I listen to the stories about our human and American failures and successes, our excesses and struggles, our collective motivation to change and meet the systemic needs of our educational system, I think of this. I watch teachers of all kinds gather support, infuse enthusiasm into learning and “going beyond where we have gone before,” and I think of my beginnings of “learning.” Our mother taught us at home (in Nigeria) for first and second grades, before we went to public school in Memphis for a year. I learned, got through school, graduate school, taught English for a short time, and still am always interested in our collective perception of knowledge and what it means to “learn, grow and change.” I was not taught, until I began studying Spiritual Philosophy, that our greatest addiction is fear. Whitney Houston knew that her greatest “demon” was herself. Where does “growth and change” fit into our education? Our greatest challenge, invitation, and gift is to Know Thyself. How do we apply the knowledge we gather?

The other night I watched the tv show A Gifted Man, a recent favorite. In this episode, a mother crazed with grief and anger because of the death of her young daughter, blames neurosurgeon Michael Holt for the fact that his testimony is responsible for the young arsonist going free. High drama ensues at the free clinic (previously run by Holt’s ex-wife, family physician and now ghost who “haunts” him), and at a critical moment Holt calms the woman by saying something like, what if what happens when we die is not what we think? What if those we love are around us, watching us? If your daughter was watching you, what would you want her to see, watching a man die or doing the right thing? The distraught woman begins to cry, overcome by the thought, the sadness, and her anger melts away. The plot turns. As I watched this scene play out, I thought about the moment that Michael Holt chose to say words he had probably not thought many times, and I imagine never said aloud. That moment is the moment we change our world, our internal world opens a little more, because we change our thinking.

“Our magnification of energy allows us to become aware of the spirit realms within us and to consciously use this power within our life.” (220)

Recently I attended my niece’s wedding in Texas. A full day or two - a beautiful wedding and wonderful reception (great food, celebration, dancing with my siblings, my cutting-edge young cousins, my niece – four years old and flower girl, beautiful in her navy blue party dress and in constant motion on the dance floor, spinning on hands and patent leather shoes, dizzy in the flashing lights and parquet floor, and all the joyful bodies doing their thing as we do on such happy occasions. I got the last seat on the charter bus back to the hotel. Beside me was one of the groomsmen, whom I had not met. We struck up a conversation, beginning with, and how did you meet the groom?  Quickly, we spoke about love, marriage, commitment, honesty, friendship – the stuff of life. In the short bus ride (20 minutes?), we spoke honestly about what it means to make choices, and to live with consequences. He said he’d married 30 days ago; he said he and the groom, friends since college, are both honest, straightforward people, and they both appreciate what it means to be friends, to keep friendship alive. Arrival at the hotel meant the end of our conversation, yet the moments are memorable, imprinted in my brain – because it’s such a pleasure to celebrate the joy of unions and families and friends being together, and to meet thinking minds that so easily and directly acknowledge the heart of life, what relationships mean to us, what love is.  Each moment matters.

Love, Truth & Perception refreshes my mind screen with this fact-  and getting to the heart of my thoughts, feelings, and memories of all I have lived, what I have learned as I’ve lived. The patterns of the Ethical Values of our Spirit, the soul energy of mind and emotions and experiences that make us who we are, our physical body which is the joy of our spirit in action as we honor what it means to be alive as energy beings. The book is a guide to what it means to grow and change, and offers constant ways to explore the infinite internal frontiers of our internal energy.  “Single” as I am in life, a triplet by birth, I understand more clearly than ever the ladder-rungs of love and the designer-lessons within each of us primarily because of Kathy’s books. Fun means so much more when the mind is fed the truth of internal love – when we are hungry for it. We can consciously enjoy and explore those patterns as we interact with each other, first with and in love. Communicating is an art that must not be lost, and we must read such books (as Love, Truth & Perception) to honor and expand ourselves as we learn to love. If you are curious about our Spiritual Heritage (beyond our religious traditions), and feel the real urge to honor all you are as a whole being guided as a Soul by your Spirit self – read Kathy’s books! Join forces as seekers of knowledge, and let’s keep the dance going!

Sunday, February 12, 2012

The Click of Stop-Time

The watch fob,
The click of stop-time –
Each moment matters.
Flick the crimson ascot,
A hint of peach scent
And cream, sharp sweet
Punch of cognac swirl-
Watch the clock wind and unwind.
How I remember the breeze
Through that window
Beneath the big oak trees.
You know what I mean,
Cool rain and the great umbrella
Dripping long after
We kissed beside the
Blooming gardenia with the
Fountain full of angels.

Monday, January 09, 2012

"The embryo is the Word of God"

I've been reading Richard Grossinger's book Embryos, Galaxies, and Sentient Beings. Here is the description from his site at North Atlantic Books: "Why is the universe conscious? What kindles mind inside matter? Why do fundamentalist sciences and religions never ask these questions? This sequel to Embryogenesis deals with the theoretical issues brought up by Embryogenesis, including: the relationship between thermodynamics/entropy and the emergence of life; a speculative set of embryogenic principles for all creatures on all planets in the cosmos; an explanation and critique of Intelligent Design and a proposal for a more dynamic psychospiritual theory of creature development; a series of alternatives to genetic determinism; a discussion of the relationship between consciousness and matter; an interjection of 9/11 (which occurred during the writing of this book); and many other topics."  

One quote got my attention in my last reading: "The embryo is the word of God." He write about the creation of sentient beings, including an explanation of how each stage of creation, from neural tube through levels of an evolutionary "grid," the embryo expresses the characteristics of that level that it has grown into. This makes me think of what I've learned from Spiritual Philosophy about the design and pattern of all creation - we create ourselves as cellular beings (energy) from the level of growth (evolution) that we have grown into; thus, we begin "where we left off" in terms of our consciousness levels(s).

The pattern is consistent in every act of creation - moment by moment, life to life.

I feel the triggers and sparks in different different energy fields, a bit like firefly sparks lighting up the grids I've lived, created, experienced and have designed to explore as an energy explorer (human being). I am asking what I don't know, what I want to know, how I know what I know and think I know, what mines there are as I tiptoe down the cleared dirt road. It has been cleared but not paved, which actually I prefer. (This is the way of the Original Thinker.) What flowers bloom - it's raining today! Happy New Year!