Tuesday, September 15, 2009

"If You Want To"

In the last Spiritual Philosophy seminar, this stood out: "If we miss how our life controls us, how will we be able to control our life?"

Remember the Rolling Stones' song, You Can't Always Get What You Want? The often-quoted "you can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find you get what you need" is relevant here! The song was recorded in London in November 1968, and features the London Bach choir. I remember my mother saying to me so many years ago, You can't always do only what you want to. Mothers and fathers learn this differently than those of us without the gift of having children.

When I heard the phrase "if you want to" yesterday it got my attention. I keep thinking about the idea that our growth develops from our own needs. From some mouths, the words "if you want to" may seem dismissive or unkind, and from others assured elements of an energy stream which honors itself, its "host" energy, and the reality of energy interaction.

As I have been constantly learning to "Know Myself," and to "know what I want," I love this lilting, playful pattern which shows itself to me as I grow and change. Memories flash into my mind of other times (and energies), when I lived aspects of some of the patterns I live today. Now I let them run through my mind, fleeting glimpses of boys I was, of girls, women with a harsh dictum of running a household because governance as a body politic was another realm to women in those times. I recognize the reflective nature of energy, and how we expand and contract patterns as our energy fields move and change. I recognize frustration as the compaction or suppression of my own energy, and a shadow of its former self as the volcano image inside which has to diffuse. This is how I came to the image of "the volcano inside" so long ago, and as I described in my book. I feel how my energy compacts in these moments, and I hear the sound of my voice more like "barking" than soothing, more like a rush or muted "fire and ash" than melody. The love of life slowly becomes the way a plant grows, delicate and fragrant in its expression, and delightfully part of all that inhabit its "universe."

Honoring the truth of "what I want," what we create as our reality, is one of the beautiful gifts a mind can receive, and give. Creating a comfort zone for ourselves as we live our lives, as days pass, as energy moves and changes, is an art form which is delightful, sometimes challenging, and always an amazing phenomenon of human consciousness. What I want is to always honor these memories which cherish truth, to laugh always as I enjoy these memory-fields, and as I honor those I love and the energy of life in its multiplicity of constant change.

It is minds that go beyond the "boxes" and bones of what we have already thought before that lead the way into the future of our past, which becomes our present. The simplicity of creation is only truly revealed when we understand and honor its complexity - or, the other way around. I feel like we are in Homer's odyssey, the journey of yet another life, and determined to know, to map, the sea, sky and shore. We are and we bear treasures! Love is eternal, and its expression is simply the most powerful energy field in the Universe.

"For a worthy quest always leaves good traces behind it, and more treasures are won by heroes than they visibly brin ghome in their own day. A more careful examination of the true office of philosophy may serve to show us, in fact, both why final success in it has been unattainable and why the partial successes have been worth the cost." Josiah Royce, The Spirit of Modern Philosophy

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