At this point in time as in all others we can always assimilate our creation with an other, for if we are not that one, one would suppose we were connected or thinking the same thing at the same moment. As history always shows it is only the one not the many- this too will change as we all invent that which has already been thought of or even brought to fruission- how does one spell that- grammar does not always come along with the knowledge of that subject as someone is always trying to perfect something which has no need for perfection as it is always in the mind of the beholder (GOD, of course). Tennis anyone? That is why technology is sometimes foreign for one drawing on that which we have already conquered or perhaps will have no long term need for- since memory also helps us to see what the future holds for us. (G.L.)
I’m thinking again about what it means to create the present and future from our past – the creativity of the past is obsolete, already gone, “frozen” in time – captured as an image, fixed only in that way. Looking into the picture, its creation, the urges of its inspiration, the beauty of its textures, layers, colors, movement (its energy) opens its infinite experiences, “meanings.” Building upon the past (obsolete) creates for us the circumstances of never being able to go beyond the past. If obsolete means no longer useful, the urge is to create anew, and this is the sense of life eternal, seeds, sprouts, ocean waves. I am gaining a new understanding of independence.
If I relate to all I am, all we have been, as equal, I have no favoritism, no attachment or “possession,” so no need to be envious or try to force one hand or another one way or another. This is the energy of competition and inequality which is the rumbling of war. My urge is to love, to join hands.
To look at all of life energy as one is to know we are one.
When I have felt the jealousy of possessiveness, I know it is because I am crouching before a pebble on the beach, having been drawn by its energy to and within me, and caught with this attention to the one stone and forgetting the roar of the sea, the movement of the tide. The roar and tide continue. The pebble has its markings from sand and tide, a certain shine or trail of dirt.
Friends I have known before have written or spoken fragments of words which make this tide more visible within me, just as my own thoughts and feelings do. The comfort of knowing we were comrades at times, known, unknown – the comfort being the continuity of the stream more than the familiarity of a role. This is the mind-tide turning on the movement and depth of the sea-life rather than a fixation forever on the one pebble, beached, or half hidden in sand. The bond of brotherhood, of “la familia,” with a friend helps me recognize how the sense of “love” was known by its fierce loyalty, this the “unbroken circle.” This is why any sense of “betrayal” was so intensely felt. Rejection, betrayal were unforgivable. They were fixed in stone, forever cast into memory. This is how we create our present and future from the past. So to choose “other than what was” is a betrayal to a “possessed” (ego-controlled) mind. “Other than what was” means change. To know we create each new memory as we live is to know that we are each pioneers, explorers, creators, sharing journeys.
What is true love? Not to cling to the raft of the past, but to know the love within us is real, and infinite, eternal. There is nothing greater. To remember there is a raft and an ocean, over and over, the beauty. This is perhaps where the “greater love has no man than to lay down his life for his friend” comes from – the depth of love when we love our neighbor as ourself and have no need to cling to life as on the raft away from a country which oppresses us, not knowing whether we will live or die. The life we cling to is the love that creates and emanates within and from us. This is my true home, and on this plot of land is where I come to know what fertility and growth truly mean.
“Possession” means controlled by something other than ourself. It’s ironic how our definition of possession in one basic historical way is by “demons” – yet it is our beliefs, our dependence and worship, loyalty to those things other than ourself (our perception of Life itself) that define possession, to “own.”
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